Continued (from Day 16)…
To try to come up with how much money we thought was “just”, we opened up a Microsoft Excel file and started to tackle this project. We itemized everything, from therapy, to attendant care, to every urinary cathing supply kit for the next thirty-nine years.
Now, I had a huge conflict with calculating the thirty-nine years, because my husband has said for a long time that he wants to live to be 120 years old. He wants to live his full life out according to the Bible. So, with them calculating him to die around age 79, they left off a significant set of years.
It was my concern that if we calculated their “worldly” belief of his lifespan, that somehow we would be setting that in motion to happen.
Another major conflict in principle I had with this was that we were, and still are, believing for complete and total healing, from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet and everywhere in between (body, mind, and spirit). So, by continuing with the lawsuit to get the money to pay for medical care that we are believing that he will not need, seemed contradictory.
These were, and still are, tough theological questions for me to reconcile. However, we were already in a fast moving train, and decisions needed to be made. So, I settled this in my spirit by some sort of rationale that we are personally body, mind, and spirit beings. This corporation is just that… a corporation. It does not have a soul. It is not Christian. It is of this world. So, while we are believing for supernatural victories and outcomes, we are living in the world simultaneously and therefore, we have to try to operate with what we were given (without being disobedient or disloyal to our core Biblical beliefs).
So, no matter what we figured out on paper or whatever happened in court, God would still be the Master of it all. But, since the lawsuit was using worldly statistics and figures, we decided it would be okay for us to play along within their parameters without jeopardizing our faith.
Another thing we considered, and calculated, was how much money it would cost for us to raise our three children. Because we are homeschooling and I personally want to not feel this pressure to earn the income for our family (on top of all my responsibilities as wife, mother, homeschooler, and caretaker), I felt it was reasonable to factor in our basic living expenses for the next fourteen years (until our youngest would turn eighteen years old). At this point, I could see how someone looking in would conclude that I could at least get a part-time income earning position.
So, once all the calculations were done, we had a large variation between three and seven million dollars. It was amazing how things added up when you are trying to plan every related expense between now and the next thirty nine years! I would not have known it would cost us about $10,000 in diapers alone (my husband currently does not have his own bowel and bladder function as part of his injury)!
The variation was due to my husband and I’s differences in opinion over things like how often he needs, or wants, a therapist to help him, how many hours we think we need attendant care, and how often we should reuse or throw away things like his urinary supplies. I tended to lean toward as frugal as possible (bare minimum) and he went toward more practical and reasonable (without being stressed). This gave us a really good idea of our worst case and best case scenarios.
We were surprised at the large sum, so the exercise was really helpful to us. Now we knew what we were truly looking at and what we truly needed. We did not need the ten million dollars (even when we factored in our tithe, benevolence, attorney and subrogation expenses (paying back insurance and state), and our attorney commission of thirty-three and one-third percent.
We certainly did not have peace about our attorneys submitting a ten million dollar demand before our mediation. We did not know how to handle that part of the situation, so we sought the Lord about what to do.
One morning, in my quiet time seeking the Lord, He showed me our strategy; to give and ask for mercy at our mediation. I had read this verse: “And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise.” [Luk 6:31 NKJV] It struck me, because we’ve heard it quoted, “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” This has always made me think of me not doing something I don’t want done to me. I’ve used this verse as a way to correct my children when they mistreat each other.
But, I was seeing something different, something of a more proactive approach… more of a sowing and reaping principle.
“And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise.” [Luk 6:31 NKJV]
The Lord revealed it to me this way, “You want this Corporation to have mercy on you and give you the amount you are requesting, so you need to also give them mercy first.”
This was such a revelation! I told my husband about it. This is how I knew that the Lord did not want us to send the demand letter. The demand was first of all, a demand. Second of all, it was for over and above what we had come up with as our worst and best case scenario. It would not be just and would simply put them on the defensive up front. I wanted to follow God’s path of peace.
Our plan was to follow the Lord’s instruction and show them mercy by only requesting for what we felt we needed, during our mediation period. We would not authorize the demand letter.
We called our attorney just to make sure he knew we did not want them to send the demand letter. He confirmed he understood our wishes. We believed we would be coming into our mediation with the right approach; non-confrontational, humble, respectful, honest, seeking only what we could show on paper we could justify, asking for mercy.
Now, the only problem was – how much were we going to request? There was a large gap in our numbers. We continued to pray and ask God for a number.
In addition, we asked Him for a sign.
(To Be Continued…)
~ Little Lamb
(This series of posts, Countdown of Hope, is not related to my family in any way. For the introduction to the story of the anonymous family I am posting for, please see http://jodykwaddell.wordpress.com/countdown-of-hope/ .)